crushed everyone in NM and AZ....enough said.

WACO...

-boiled eggs ready for race morning (check)
-ancient hot cream for my massive piston legs (check)
-18lb 29er race bike (check)

I'm in Waco TX, just getting ready to fuck shit up tomorrow....thats all.

i'll ride 29ers...i'll ride 26ers...i'll ride heavy demos...i'll ride broken frames...i don't give a FUCK!

Xterra West Cup race report:
It was hot. I crushed everybody.

It was spring break of 58’. I was cruising the strip in Daytona with the old Schwinn. Like I always did back in the day I started the ride with my signature cargo shorts and sleeveless v-neck tee. I suppose you could imagine the ladies. Lots of em’ and they were all lookin’ my way. I was doing mile intervals in a loop on and off the beach. As my body, or as many of you know it, ‘The Machine’ started to heat up I had to start shedding some clothes. I removed my tee to take in some of that Florida sun. The next thing I new a flock of women were running from the beach and they were headed straight for me. I knew things were about to get crazy. But it was going to take more than a few hundred women to slow me down. After an hour intervals things were really heating up and the pack of women was growing fast. By this time a number of these women were chasing me on anything from bicycles to 50cc scooters. I knew I shouldn’t do it, but the women were picking up the pace and the heat was becoming overwhelming…. I stripped my baggy shorts to reveal Zeus and Poseidon embodied in nothing but spandexed glory. That was the apparent tipping point. I looked back and saw a row of shiny new 58’ Chevy’s racing for me. By the looks of the suddenly emptied car dealerships along the strip I knew these unruly, yet exceptionally sexy, pack of wild women meant business. Meat was on their minds and I was a 165 lb rare USDA Choice Filet, aged and seasoned to perfection. But the ladies were just going to have to wait. Cycling was on my mind and I was just starting the business of kickin’ some ass. Eventually the ladies ran out of gas and I left them spent and begging. Word is the local ladies started a race to remember The Man, The Machine. They now call that race the Daytona 500.

Man I think my rear tire was rubbing the whole race

So I was racing today; going real fast, fast like a cougar on catnip. A blur flys by going faster than the speed of sound, it was the Ed Express. We all know how it turns out Ed crushes the race and then as we gather ourselves Ed says, "Damn my rear tire was rubbing, I think I cracked my frame." Ed puts out so many watts he doesn't crack his frames do.

ED

Ed has the biggest strongest legs out of everyone i know. One time we where riding bikes and Ed couldn't hear us making fun of him.

-the end